Of all the things I love about North Carolina, there’s nothing I’ll miss more than the annual Bubbalympics at Wet ‘n’ Wild. Mind you, I’ve never actually paid money to see fat rednecks — called Bubbas and Bubbettes — belly flop into the water, but I’ve seen plenty. And there’s plenty to see.

My station seems to cover the Bubbalympics every year. The organizers are smart. They hold it on a Sunday, a day when there is LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE GOING ON. So, desperate for two hours of television, FOX8 sends a man with a camera to shoot the goings on.

Is there a Bubbalympics in central Pennsylvania? I sure hope so.

Otherwise, where will PA rednecks have the opportunity to “achieve eternal redneck glory?”